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The Harmony of Truth Unleashed on Elven Jewel

elven jewel

Elven Jewel by Kasper Beaumont
 Amazon | Amazon Author Page

Disclaimer: A copy of this book was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.

Blurb:

This fantasy adventure begins when the magical continent of Reloria is threatened by cruel, scaly invaders called Vergai from the wastelands of Vergash. These invaders are barbaric and are intent on destroying the protective elven forcefield and conquering peaceful Reloria. The Vergais’ plan is to steal the Elven Jewel which is the key to the Relorian defence system.

Halfling friends Randir and Fendi and their bond-fairies are the first to discover the invaders and they embark on a quest to save the Elven Jewel. They leave their peaceful farm village with their fairies and race against time to stop the invaders. They join forces with dwarves, elves, men and a mysterious dragon, and call themselves the Hunters of Reloria.

The quest is perilous, with numerous encounters with the ruthless Vergai, who are determined to fulfill their mission. The Elven Jewel is stolen and the quest becomes a race to the portal to retrieve the jewel before it can be taken to Vergash. A battle for Reloria ensues where the consequences for the Relorians is death, unless Vergai are stopped.

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Hello and welcome to The Review Board. Today TRB will examine “Elven Jewel” by Kasper Beaumont. First let’s give the floor to The Harmonious One, to see what she thinks.

Harmonious Kent

Harmonious Takes

Elven Jewel is the first book in a fantasy series. It is reminiscent of Lord of the Rings in many areas, but aimed at a younger audience. A couple of Halfling boys see an invading force of Vergai entering their land of Reloria, and they—together with their father—set off in a race against time to save the Elven Jewel that helps to protect the land. They leave their peaceful farm village and, along the way, join up with dwarves, elves, Goblins, men, and a dragon.

I love the book cover, and I love fantasy fiction, but I didn’t love this book. The plot and story premise have so much promise and potential, but unfortunately the execution let it down. The writing style is extremely passive in nature, and most of the key plot developments are told rather than shown, and this all keeps the reader at arm’s length.

comma

The punctuation and grammar need revisiting, and especially comma usage. One example would be the following line: “How are you feeling Fendi?” Here, the author intended to ask Fendi how he felt, yet without a comma it reads as though some third party is being asked how to feel Fendi! The same with: “Wake up Fendi.” Clumsy sentences are also frequent, such as: “Her fairy, Senna-Li was floating unconsciously on the surface of the water.” Ellipses only ever have three dots, not numerous, and hyphens should never be used as dashes. One particular character had a lilting voice, and I lost count how many times this information got repeated throughout the book. Also, Point of View switches without indication abound, and thus make it even more difficult to get into the story and the characters.

This book gets 4 out of 10 TRB stars, which translates into 2 out of 5 stars on other rating scales.

harmony4stars

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Thank you Harmony for your overview of “Elven Jewel”. Now onto Mini Truth.

Mini Truth

Truthful Takes

Elven Jewel” is a fantasy story very similar in construction to Lord of The Rings. As a matter of fact, many times as I read I mentally replaced “the jewel” with “the ring” and it was as though I was reading the very same story.

lordoftheringstrilogy

You’ve got elves, and dwarfs, and halflings, and basically the entire armada of folklore creatures.

creative-Tree-house-dream-world-planet-people-fantasy-images-HD

The main characters are 3 Halflings; Fendi, Randir and Sienna. They come from a beautiful land called Reloria, which seems to be a place where all folklore comes to thriving life.

It’s hard to give the entire premise of this story in a paragraph or two, because you see, there is just too much going on. However, in picking out just one main thread, it is the fight and race to save The Elven Jewel from the Vergai, a evil band of scaly and destructive creatures.

The story is a mixture of action, adventure, love and mythological fable.

So in order to sum up my review it’s best to just go into the Pros and Cons.

Pros:

Thumbs-up

  • The author does a very nice job of creating a believable setting.
  • Some of the characters, particularly Sienna and Fendi are very likeable.
  • The story has loads of potential.

Unfortunately, that was it as far as the Pros are concerned. In my humble opinion the story had more going against it than going for it. Here are my observations in regards to the Cons (screenshots may or may not be included.).

Thumbs-down

  • The first thing that I noticed was the vast amount of things that were happening all at one, and the innumerable amount of characters. This is definitely one story that is hard to keep up with, unless you’re taking notes.
  • While the descriptions of the places, people and action were lovely, many times I felt as though it lacked heart. That is to say, that while description was there, emotion was lacking.
  • Too many times over, scenes went into tangents of happenings that often diverted the story from the main conflict.
  • Syntax was not entirely terrirble, but definitely needed lots of work.
  • The chapters were entirely too long.
  • Story consistency also needs work. The reason being that it is presented as a fantasy-slash-historic piece, yet many times I found that the story had “modernized” jargon.

Please refer to my example below.

examples

Here are the problems with the above:

Example 1:

A “till” is a box, or something used to store things. The word should have been “until”.

“Breath” should be “breathe”.

Example 2:

I had no idea that mythological/historical creatures said “Woot”.

Example 3:

Why are there SO MANY dots in the ellipses?

Example 4:

There was no need to start that sentence with an ellipses.

Example 5:

Did they really know what poker was at that time? *insert confused face*

Example 6:

Again, all those extra dots in the ellipses.

  • If anyone knows this about me, it’s that I can’t stand cliffhangers. This story was a pretty big one. Even until the last chapter new conflict was being introduced, and the only thing resolved has been the main conflict.

You see, that’s the problem with introducing so many elements into a story. Once that is done, the author must ties up those threads (all of them, or at least most of them) by the last chapter. Of course, this book has a sequel, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that at least most of the conflict could have been resolved.

All in all, while “Elven Jewel” and its author Kasper Beaumont have potential, as it stands this book didn’t do it for me. I think it needs a lot of rethinking, extracting of excessive jargon and re-editing. Also, another great tool that should/could have been utilized would have been a glossary and map. A glossary so that people that aren’t familiar with the lore creatures introduced in the story, could look them up to learn about them. More maps, other than the one at the beginning of the book, to show Reloria and the places visited by the lot.

I give “Eleven Jewel” 4 TRB stars which translates into 2 Stars elsewhere.

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On to the Unleashed One.

No Labels

Unleashed Speaks

I am going to jump into the heart of this review, since the two other reviewers did a wonderful job at setting up the introductory information.

Pros-300x286

Things the author did well

(1) The author does a good job at setting up a scene, describing things in a way that makes the reader feel like he or she is there.

(2) There was some dialogue that made me chuckle here and there, particularly between the fairies and their owners.

(3) I did like the hues on the cover.

Cons-300x284
Things that were opportunities for the author

(1) I believe that too much was presented too soon. For me, I was fascinated by the initial threat of the Vergai and the elves yet soon these other elements got thrown into the mix and the core conflict I was invested in got lost.

(2) Too many characters are in the fray, to the point where it is quite easy to get one person mixed up with the other. Also, that happens when the characters’ names too closely resemble each other or sound too much like each other.

(3) The chapters are too long. This is a detriment because it delays the action. Also, if there is pertinent information towards the beginning, there’s no guarantee it will be remembered by the time you get to the end of that chapter, heading into the next one. By keeping the chapters shorter in a fantasy, action/adventure work such as this one, it keeps you in the thick of the action instead of dragging you along.

(4) In all of these action sequences, one thing is sorely missing and it is focus on the Elven Jewel, which is the title of this work. For me, if that is mentioned in the book, then at some point, it should be the centerpiece. Yet in the presentation in the book, the Jewel is more a side item. I honestly think in the aim to make this work more exciting, the author added so many layers that the core layer got neglected.

(5) Certain dialog tags, as well as adjectives, got repeated where they were unnecessary or somewhat distracting.

Unleashed Verdict: 5.5 Stars

Overall, Elven Jewel has potential with its premise, but here, less is more. The author should have taken more time to develop why the reader should really care about the jewel. Yet there are so many story lines presented. Since the author has made this a trilogy it is going to take a lot of diligence (as well as rushing) to tie up all the ends going into books two and three. For me, I would have preferred a sleeker story with less happenings than a whole ball of rush.

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Great, with all of that being said, let’s tally up the scores, shall we?

It looks like “Elven Jewel” has acquired at total sum of 4.5 TRB Stars.

4.5 stars
4.5 out of 10

Thanks again for checking out The Review Board. Don’t forget to Like, Share and Subscribe. Have a great day.

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About nolabels

I have an appreciation for the unique, love for all types of art, and fierce attractions to brilliant intellectuals (from book smarts to street smarts). Lover of humanity but feel humans have lost their way, just trying to stay true to myself as conformity threatens to take me away. Simply one head, many crowns: Author. Reviewer. Columnist.

One comment on “The Harmony of Truth Unleashed on Elven Jewel

  1. Pingback: Controversy Unleashed on Dragon’s Revenge | The Review Board

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This entry was posted on August 18, 2015 by in August, books, e-books, reviews and tagged , .

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