Where Honesty Never Ends.
Greetings everyone! The Unleashed One and Mr. Controversy here to share our thoughts on the inaugural 2015 WWE Fastlane Pay-Per-View, available for the very first time on the WWE Network for only $9.99 (we should REALLY get compensated for plugging this network…).
As always we, Ms. No Labels and Mr. Controversy, did our due diligence as we discuss our predictions for this new event as it is the final stop before Wrestlemania 31:
–6-Man Tag Team Match: Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan, and Ryback vs. The Authority (Seth Rollins, Big Show, and Corporate Kane)
Mr. Controversy: Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan, and Ryback
Ms. No Labels: Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan, and Ryback
Why Ziggler, Ryback, and Rowen: In my mind (Ms. No Labels), I want Ziggler, Ryback, and Rowen to continue momentum after being brought back from getting fired by The Authority.
–Goldust vs. Stardust
Mr. Controversy: Stardust
Ms. No Labels: Stardust
Why Stardust: It would give Stardust even more momentum and set up a final showdown, quite possibly “Loser Leaves WWE” match for Wrestlemania.
–WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos (Incumbent Champions) vs. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro
Mr. Controversy: The Usos (NOTE: I would be PLEASANTLY SURPRISED if Cesaro and Kidd win the Gold)
Ms. No Labels: The Usos
Why Usos: Well, there are a number of reasons. For one, I wish they would just let Cesaro go solo. Each time it is hinted they may do so, they pair him with someone. Also, if they are going to put belts on Cesaro and Kidd, I would rather it be at Wrestlemania.
–WWE Divas Championship: Nikki Bella (Incumbent Champion) vs. Paige
Mr. Controversy: Nikki Bella
Ms. No Labels: Nikki Bella
Why Nikki Bella: It’s not that I even like Nikki Bella. It’s just that Paige needs a bit more polish. For one, they need to decide whether she is going to be a heel or face. I don’t think they need to switch her character without fully developing her. It was a mistake to give her the belt so early when she arrived in WWE. Paige may get there: at the earliest, Wrestlemania; at the latest, Summer Slam. I’m just not sold on Paige having the belt … sorry.
–WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Bad News Barrett (Incumbent Champion) vs. Dean Ambrose
Mr. Controversy: Bad News Barrett
Ms. No Labels: Dean Ambrose
Why Dean Ambrose: I’m just tired of Ambrose getting more losses than wins at a pay-per-view. Even when he wins, it doesn’t seem like it.
–WWE United States Championship Match: Rusev (Incumbent Champion) vs. John Cena
Mr. Controversy: John Cena (NOTE: win by Disqualification or Count Out; no title change)
Ms. No Labels: John Cena
Why John Cena: I think the Rusev angle is almost played out. I also believe that Cena is not as big of a draw when he isn’t the champ. I know believing that the belt will be dropped here is a stretch but if not here, then I definitely see a Cena Burial coming out at Wrestlemania.
–Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan (Winner to face WWE World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 31)
Mr. Controversy: Roman Reigns
Ms. No Labels: Roman Reigns
Why Roman Reigns: I’m of this mind: WWE can’t go and promote Roman Reigns, then because of how the Royal Rumble ended and the outrage, get people’s hopes up and let Daniel Bryan in it. As unfair as I think Bryan got treated during the Royal Rumble, that doesn’t give one the right to rip the opportunity away from Roman Reigns. If Daniel Bryan is allowed to win this, then it will make the whole Royal Rumble match null and void.
6-Man Tag Team Match: Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan, and Ryback vs. The Authority (Seth Rollins, Big Show, and Corporate Kane)
Winners: The Authority (Seth Rollins, Big Show, Corporate Kane)
Reaction to the match (Ms. No Labels): I did like the wrestling of Ziggler and Rollins. Rollins is quite an impressive wrestler when they let him wrestle. I’m not sold on his trash talking but he will get there. Other than that, not really too much to see in this one. Kane and The Big Show proved to be faithful in their roles as veterans and provided the power while letting the rest of the talent do its thing.
Highlight #1: It’s about damn time that Randy Orton was brought back, although truth be told, I’ve been waiting for him since Survivor Series. Also, I’ve been going through RKO withdrawal. I just hope that too much time hasn’t passed—so much so that people may have forgotten why he’s beefing with Rollins in the first place.
Highlight #2: There were some people waiting on a Big Show turn. I even saw a few signs. I could care less. Each time he is brought back, he is switched at least three times. I was not holding my breath.
Mr. Controversy: WE DO Believe that we have seen a Wrestlemania 31 match being made, Ms. Labels: Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins. This is fantastic for the simple fact that this particular storyline NEEDS to be closed out and sealed into the vault of WWE History.
Remember: Randy Orton was defiant towards The Authority when Triple H and Stephanie McMahon showed favor towards Seth Rollins as opposed to the “Apex Predator.” This caused The Authority to “take out” Randy Orton in a WWE Mafia style hit, Seth Rollins leading the “hit helm” at the command of Triple H. Due to that happening, Randy Orton was sidelined for a few months. His return signifies that he may have been down, but he is certainly NOT out of the WWE picture.
Goldust vs. Stardust
Reaction to the match (Ms. No Labels): I feel like they were pressed for time. The outcome, if it sets up for a rematch at Wrestlemania, does make sense, so I’m willing to take the loss for that one.
Mr. Controversy: Indeed, Ms. Labels! The match did seem rushed (despite the match being 11 minutes, that IS a short time). The fashion in which the match ended DID seem reminiscent to Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior Champion vs. Champion match at Wrestlemania 6 (Hogan was pinned yet was VERY CLOSE to kicking out at the last millisecond as the referee’s hand doled the third count, giving the victory to The Ultimate Warrior). The way that Stardust’s expression was seen, he felt that the referee botched the count. Looking at the actual replay of that three-count, the third count DOES look a bit suspect to me. A rematch at Wrestlemania IS a legitimate course to travel, with your suggested “Loser Leaves WWE” stipulation to which you alluded earlier as a Pot Sweetener.
WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos (Incumbent Champions) vs. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro
Winners: Tyson Kidd and Cesaro (NEW WWE Tag Team Champions)
Reaction to the match (Ms. No Labels): It was a good match. Not as strong as I’ve seen from the Usos (I think their battles with Gold and Stardust are better) but pretty decent all the same. Cesaro just stands out, and although they have him in a team, even the blind can see that “solo” should be his destination. Kidd has the high flying ability but as far as well put together athlete, Cesaro has him beat, despite Tyson Kidd’s connection with Stu Hart.
Mr. Controversy: I was pulling for another Uso Victory, UNTIL the swerve in the Fastlane (see what I did?) caused a change in title possession. Two Words: PLEASANTLY SURPRISED. A Wrestlemania rematch IS likely, where we can HOPEFULLY see what these two teams can do on The Big Stage.
Triple H and Sting faced off in the ring, and this is how it all went down:
Ms. Labels: Triple H was strong when cutting his promo but looked a bit weak when it came to the action. When has The Game ever just thrown the sledgehammer down when face to face with someone? Maybe back in his “taking a bow, Hunter Hearst Helmsley” days, but in 2015 … um, nope!
Also, how Sting can say so much without even opening his mouth! It felt a bit like kindergarten.
Overall thoughts (Ms. No Labels): If we must see Sting and Triple H … sighs … I suppose I will take it. Triple H is in great condition, so it will be more of a match than Sting vs. Undertaker, which is what a lot of people wanted to take place instead. Instead, the Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt match seems inevitable. We are just waiting for the Undertaker to cosign on the arrangement.
Mr. Controversy: The BEST WAY for WWE to do this match (as far as I, Mr. Controversy, is concerned), is with a No Disqualification Match: let these two future WWE Hall of Famers beat each other silly: NO EXCUSES. To me, THAT would be…
WWE Divas Championship: Nikki Bella (Incumbent Champion) vs. Paige
Winner: Nikki Bella (retains championship)
Reaction (Ms. No Labels): Yawn.
Mr Controversy: Agreed, Ms. No Labels. I was hoping that WWE would have given us another quality Divas match as they have done at their last PPV, yet once again… *flushing the toilet*
WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Bad News Barrett (Incumbent Champion) vs. Dean Ambrose
Winner: Bad News Barrett (retains championship)
Reaction (Ms. No Labels): I liked the action but hated the ending. Similar to what happened in the Bray Wyatt show down, Dean allowed his “crazy” to get the best of him. So even though Barrett won, he didn’t look like a winner, and on top of that, Dean takes the belt.
While waiting on the next match, the defense of the WWE United States Championship between champion Rusev vs. John Cena, this happened:
Ms. No Labels: I wish they’d let Bray Wyatt be Bray Wyatt. Must he try and be like the Undertaker? For me, he will never ever be the Undertaker. Let him be the Face of the Backwoods Swamp or something. New face of fear … that is so laughable! #justsaying
Mr. Controversy: It is apparent that Bray Wyatt slipped into his Big Boy pants, boarded the Crazy Train, and ordered the Silly Water Cocktail Special that caused the gears in his head to spin out of control as he called out The Undertaker for a match at Wrestlemania 31. Wyatt, as you heard in the video, called The Undertaker “a mere mortal” and Bray Wyatt is “the NEW Face of Fear.” I do not know about you, but Bray’s words sound like Fighting Words. Let’s see how our Resident Dead Man will respond to Bray Wyatt…
WWE United States Championship Match: Rusev (Incumbent Champion) vs. John Cena
Winner: Rusev (retains championship)
Reaction (Ms. No Labels): Overall, the match was better than I expected. Man, John Cena has been suffering from kryptonite overload lately. They couldn’t have Rusev beat him clean. Nothing like a kick in the pair to take one out: in John Cena’s case, knocked the hell out. Sure it will go down as a clean win, since the referee didn’t catch Rusev. However, we know he cheated—plain and simple. Scratched cornea be damned, it’s only a matter of time before Cena has some more gold. I’m setting my clock. If they let Rusev hold on to that title after Wrestlemania, I will be extremely shocked.
Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan (Winner to face WWE World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 31)
Winner: Roman Reigns
Reaction (Ms. No Labels): I really enjoyed this match, although it seemed a bit sluggish to start. Putting Bryan and Reigns against each other was a great chance for Roman to prepare to face Brock at Wrestlemania. With that being said, I am glad that Roman prevailed and that the purpose of the Royal Rumble match can continue.
Mr. Controversy: This was certainly the match to watch, for we REALLY needed to see what the WWE would have done with this situation. Despite Daniel Bryan’s early dismissal from the Royal Rumble, the WWE realized (later as opposed to sooner) that they slighted Bryan at that time and gave him the proverbial “consolation prize” that was this Main Event. Indeed it was a very good match; Daniel Bryan made Roman Reigns looks legitimate, a contender, AND worthy of going toe-to-toe with the Reigning, Defending, Undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World…
So how did Unleashed and Mr. Controversy feel about Fast Lane?
2.5 out of 5 Stars
Despite the star power of Sting, the Bray Wyatt promo, and Randy Orton’s return, there’s not enough quality in the matches to make Fast Lane a delightful ride. This was nothing more than a special version of Raw or Smackdown to us. We just felt like creative didn’t invest much in this one because they are too busy getting Wrestlemania hyped up.
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