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The Corners of Mr. Controversy on “The Rogue’s Odyssey”

the-rogues-odyssey-cover-3-finished1

By: Louise Findlay

Amazon

“The Rogue’s Odyssey” is a very short, 800-word poem written by Louise Findlay.

Note:

This title was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review. Due to the brevity of this particular work and a fondness for poetry, Mr. Controversy opted to include this as part of his Other Review Initiative (ORI), The Corners of Controversy.

Mr. Controversy

Let’s look at the blurb:

Heroes with an edge are always fascinating and when the métier is poetic, the romance tends to rise exponentially because, after all, everyone loves a rascal who’s only a heartbeat away from being on the wrong side of the tracks, but who somehow always battles on to win the day, whether that’s fleeing from dastardly henchmen, or fighting a terrifying dragon.

Reading the blurb itself, it is one long sentence. A run-on sentence is not a good thing to have in general. Breaking up the sentence will give it a much more digestible feel, as shown in my suggested edit:

Heroes with an edge are always fascinating and when the métier is poetic, the romance tends to rise exponentially. After all, everyone loves a rascal who’s only a heartbeat away from being on the wrong side of the track. Somehow, they always battle on to win the day, whether that’s fleeing from dastardly henchmen, or fighting a terrifying dragon.

While reading the introduction to our poem, there is an air of awkwardness as the feelings of run-on sentences happened again. Also, the second sentence concluding the Introduction has a question within its wording, which triggered my MS Word program to ask me if I desire to add a question mark after the word “high”:

Heroes with an edge are always fascinating and when the métier is poetic, the romance tends to rise exponentially because, after all, everyone loves a rascal who’s only a heartbeat away from being on the wrong side of the tracks, but who somehow always battles on to win the day.

 

We all want the happy ending don’t we especially where the stakes are high.

As you will see in my suggested edit, breaking up the run-on sentences (as well as a well-placed ellipsis) makes for a stronger presence and offers clarity:

Heroes with an edge are always fascinating and when the métier is poetic, the romance tends to rise exponentially. After all, everyone loves a rascal who’s only a heartbeat away from being on the wrong side of the tracks. Somehow, they always battle on to win the day.

We all want the happy ending don’t we? Especially where the stakes are high…

youOne other item that I need to point out is the word “Poem” at the top of the poem just before it starts.

In its place, I would suggest replacing “Poem” with “The Rogue’s Odyssey”. It will look cleaner to your readers.

In regards to the poem itself, it is about a young rogue who is in possession of an orb received by magical means with a questionable origin. It is a vessel of Light and Hope for a Kingdom which is in great need of its light. With assistance from a mage, a wizard, and a warlock, the rogue must overcome obstacles in the form of corrupted knights which was instigated by the dark heart of Lord Caelin, and a fire-breathing dragon in order to reach the shrine of Luminos Dasos, located in the temple of Luna Moon. Within this temple, the shrine will house the magical orb and restore light to the kingdom.

The poem, overall, was pretty good.

The commas in the poem were a bit strange and alien to me at first. After speaking with Miss No Labels (as well as reading to poem to her), she and I agreed that the commas were used effectively, giving us the cue to breathe within the dialogue. Certain parts of the poem flowed B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L-L-Y where the commas were utilized to perfection.

boywithmagnifyingglassVisually, the structure is on point in some places. For my writing style (when I use commas for poetry), I go to the next line. Ms. Findlay did not in some parts. At the same time, the poem still read nicely and gave me a sense of enjoyment and pleasure by the time I read the last line.

As far as Ms. Findlay’s book, it has a going price for $0.99.

Seeing this price reminds me of a poem I read last year. It had 6 or 8 lines, and was selling for the same price point. Although that poem was cute, I felt disrespected that it was priced at that price point where other poetry books were priced the same and offered more poetry for that selling price.

Despite “A Rogue’s Odyssey” is substantially longer than the poem that I referenced, I cannot help but feel disappointed that there are not any more poems being offered at this price in this eBook.

Survey Says: 7 out of 10 Stars

7stars

Louise Findlay’s “A Rogue’s Odyssey” is a fantasy filled poem that tells a very intriguing tale in a short time-frame of read. Think carefully about shelling out $0.99 for this book, yet at the same time I enjoyed her poem.

Thanks for checking out The Corners of Controversy segment on The Review Board. Feel free to like, subscribe and share! Have a great day!

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About nolabels

I have an appreciation for the unique, love for all types of art, and fierce attractions to brilliant intellectuals (from book smarts to street smarts). Lover of humanity but feel humans have lost their way, just trying to stay true to myself as conformity threatens to take me away. Simply one head, many crowns: Author. Reviewer. Columnist.

One comment on “The Corners of Mr. Controversy on “The Rogue’s Odyssey”

  1. angel7090695001
    May 18, 2015

    Thank you very much for reviewing my poem.

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This entry was posted on February 13, 2015 by in e-books, February, reviews, the corners of controversy and tagged , .

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