The Review Board

Where Honesty Never Ends.

Controversy Unleashed on Don’t Judge Me

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Don’t Judge Me by Quanah Edwards
Amazon Goodreads Author Page

Note: This is the image that was up at the time.  If another cover presents itself, then it will be updated accordingly.  That’s the one that is still on Amazon but we searched around until we found this one.

Greetings everyone!  The Review Board is here to discuss our thoughts on Don’t Judge Me.  Before proceeding, give this a peek:

*DISCLAIMER: This read contains Strong and Coarse Language, Strong Sexual Content, and Drug Use. Reader’s Discretion IS Advised.*

 

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I Don’t Judge: I Assess. Mr. Controversy Reviews “Don’t Judge Me”

“Don’t Judge Me” is a quick read by Ms. Quanah Edwards which examines Christina “Chrissy” Marilyn Adams (who is speaking from a first person perspective): a woman who is only interested in having her vaginal walls scratched whenever an itch occurs. Apparently, she has her next scratcher lined up: Zachary Adams (ZA); a man who has been released from rehabilitation for his illnesses, and is rumored to possess a “Legendary Stroke Game”. Chrissy is then placed into an interesting position which causes her to evaluate and re-evaluate all that she thought she knew about herself and the situation in which she placed herself.

 

Her best friend and confidant Jana knows of Chrissy’s epic horniness and disdain for relationships. Jana is the proverbial “Voice of Reason” to Chrissy’s wandering ways as she gives Chrissy much needed advisement and insight.

 

Reading this story reminds me of some of the graphic poetry that I have written myself (“Erect From Fear”, anyone?), yet on a smaller scale. Ms. Edwards has a Rather Good Way of painting a picture of how things go on between Chrissy and ZA throughout the story. Just hoped that it was a bit more in depth in the name of deeper character development (specifically, a brief history of their friendship BEFORE reaching this point. If it has been written and published, I would like to read it).

 

I am VERY PROUD of the Endorsement of Safe Sex within the pages of this story by Ms. Edwards. In this day and age, Safe Sex is something that should enter each and EVERY mind of those who decide to engage in Carnal Coital Activities.

 

Also, addressing Inner Demons is as important as Safe Sex. If you or someone you know are facing Inner Demons, there are resources available to help you and/or them get through said Inner Demons:

http://www.aa.org/

http://www.drug-rehabs.com/

 

An extra pair of eyes is always a good thing to possess, as I always say to those I have reviewed. Extra eyes often help identify if anything is out of place, missed, punctuation revisions, etc.

Let’s take this paragraph for example:

At around 2 in the morning, I hear in the living room watching TV. I can’t place what he’s watching, but I do hear him crying. I stay in bed, paralyzed by what I’m hearing. I can’t let him know I heard him. I’m not good with emotions…mine or anyone else’s. What did I get myself into?

We know to whom she is referring, yet we still need to make certain that we are still on the same page in regards to ZA in this position. It could have been another man, a friend, a family member, or a roommate in that scenario.

Here is another example:

“Because you’re ZA. Because you’re smart, sweet, sexy, beautiful inside and out. Because you’re flawed and because to really be loved.” Where did all of this come from? I mean every word though.

To me (and Microsoft Word’s incessant green line nagging), many sentences are fragmented throughout the story (DESPITE this story being presented in a PDF format, I tend to copy the dialogue in the write and paste it into MS Word JUST TO see how many Fragments, spelling errors, etc. are present). The highlighted sentence’s clarity is due to a word or a couple of words that are missing in said sentence. In the name of depth and a clearer understanding of the emotions and thought process of Chrissy, a careful and closer look is needed here.

A bigger issue (for me) is the lack of emotion in the sexual parts. The quotes from the characters where there should be exclamation points to highlight Extreme Pleasure have periods instead, which tells me (in my opinion) that the participants are SOMEHOW coming up Light in the Loving as well as lacking Enthusiasm. The sex feels bland, despite a good description in that dynamic. Had there been exclamation points in those Key Areas of the story, those particular parts would have a MUCH STRONGER feel of Passion.

 

Ms. Quanah Edwards’ “Don’t Judge Me” is a story with a premise that is all too familiar with many who have traversed, traveled, as well as witnessed during their lives. Ms. Edwards has Great Potential to be a Very Good Storyteller, for as long as she utilizes the resources needed (proofreaders and/or good friends with an eye as well as attention for detail) to deliver her stories with the impact that she is seeking.

Source: familyfeud

Source: familyfeud

Survey Says: 5.5/10

Matthew 7:1 states, “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you…”

 

“Don’t Judge Me” needs quite a bit of work in regards to grammar, punctuation, as well as emphasis of emotions. This story CAN BE something of great value for as long as she as well as her mind are open to the feedback of not only myself, but the feedback of those who have read this story. For those who are interested in reading her work, it is up to you whether or not you choose to read.

 

Now we have the Unleashed One.

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Unleashed Speaks

Greetings everyone!  After reading “Terra’s Nite Out”, I was a bit apprehensive about “Don’t Judge Me”.  Yet I believe in a person’s ability to improve and grow.

Here are a few things I appreciated about “Don’t Judge Me”.

The Story is Here:  I liked that there’s actually some type of storyline. ZA is fighting to stay afloat his cocaine and alcohol addiction.  Chrissy is adjusting to actually being in a relationship after incorporating the attitude of just “sleeping and f**ing”.

 

 

Characters of Interest:  I was very interested in ZA’s character. Although he had his addictions, at his core he was a good guy–who still believed in the principles of a long lasting relationship.  I believe that Jana got a bad rep because she was trying to look out for Chrissy with what she said.  Sure, her level of conveyance may have bordered on being bitchy, but I don’t think she deserved being called a bitch.  Besides just because you go from being the friend to the boo doesn’t mean people forget how you use to talk about someone when you were the friend.  I just found that a bit hypocritical.

Here are some items that still need improvement:

Sniper Spell Check

Sniper Spell Check

I brought back our good friend Sniper Spell Check, along with Major Missing Words and Private Punctuation (they are not shown here) because there are still a few editing mishaps about, particularly on page 34:

“…we start each other’s close off.” (Should be “…we start taking each other’s clothes off.”)

“…he knees before me” (Should be “…he kneels”)

“Are the windows closed,” (Should be a question mark instead of a comma)

“He lowers his head so he’s face my vagina.” (Should be “facing” or “face-to-face with”)

In addition there were also multiple misplaces of commas and double quotation marks in terms of dialogue.  Instead of the comma being nestled inside the double quotation marks, it was placed on the outside.

Cover Concept Opportunity: The chosen cover doesn’t match this particular work at all.  In the majority of cases, cover doesn’t play that much of a factor for me.  However you need all the brownie points you can get as it pertains to drawing the reader into the work.

Slight Expansion on Storyline Elements:  I would have liked a little bit more detail on the following, possibly told in terms of a short prologue:

  • How did ZA’s addiction originally start?  (It would have served to have a bit more of that there so I could be even more engaged in his character.)
  • What guy broke Chrissy’s heart and made her the way she was? (It was revealed via dialogue but I would have loved to have heard a full telling of this to make me connect with her.)
The Exclamation Point Militia

The Exclamation Point Militia

Where’s the Oomph?  The same toxic mine regarding lack of emphasis in crucial erotic sequences in “Terra’s Nite Out” migrated to “Don’t Judge Me”.  I’ll just recap a bit of what I wrote because it applies to this story as well:

For me the essence of good erotica is making me feel as if I’m there. I’m either holding the video camera as the participants switch positions, or I have binoculars and am zooming in on the action. What can I say? My voyeur must have satisfaction! Plus, my imagination is mad vivid. The dialogue HAS to match the action!

The author should have definitely used more exclamation points to indicate the level of excitement in these sexual escapades, along with sprinkles of full capitalization and italicization.  Those instances are but not limited to the following:

  • Getting pleasantly switched to another position
  • Being near orgasm
  • Receiving great oral sex
  • Extended stimulation of breasts, ass, vaginal area

You get the idea.

Unleashed Verdict: 5 out of 10 TRB Stars

Although the presentation of Quanah’s writing has improved, I don’t pick up that the author is fully connecting with the erotic scenes–due to the lack of emphasis in deep scenarios of passion and the scenarios not being doused with enough creativity.  The author does have potential with storyline and I admire her bravery with addressing cocaine and alcohol addiction as well as the underlying tinge of redemption vs. past experiences.  However, I would have preferred to see this storyline play out–with it being the star and the sex scenes being the buffer as opposed to the other way around.  It just doesn’t feel like erotica is the appropriate genre for her to partake in.  Yet if she continues on this path (or with any future writings), Quanah should invest in a quality proofreader, a professional editor and strong beta readers to tell her what works and doesn’t work in a narrative.  That way, her work can fully connect across the board: from the newbie of erotica to a more seasoned veteran of stimulation.  In any event (regardless of genre), this author has not made it to the Promised Land and has quite a ways to go before she will get there.

Let’s add the numbers and divide by 2.

5starsoutof10

Overall, Don’t Judge Me gets 5 (actually 5.25) out of 10 TRB Stars.

Thanks for checking out The Review Board.  Feel free to like, share and subscribe.  Have a wonderful day!

 

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About aboyd228

I Am One Who Doesn't Hold His Tongue. Many Will View Me As Crass, Ignorant, Belligerent And I Have Been Called An Asshole OFTEN, Yet My REAL And TRUE Friends Know Me To Be Very Honest (Maybe TOO Honest For My Own Good) About A Lot Of Topics And Subjects. Enter At Your Own Risk, And Be Enlightened...

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This entry was posted on May 9, 2014 by in e-books, May, reviews and tagged , .

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