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Unleashed Speaks on WWE The Royal Rumble

WWE-Royal-Rumble-2014-PosterWWE Royal Rumble 2014

Greetings, No Labels here!  I wanted to give you my thoughts on the Royal Rumble 2014, which marks the Road to Wrestlemania.

Oh, You Didn’t Know…Oh, Hell No!  The New Age Outlaws become the new WWE Tag Team Champions.


It’s a bad sign when the Rhodes Brothers (who were on the actual PPV’s previously) get delegated to the Pre-Show.  If that wasn’t an indicator, it was the fact that after Old School Raw was over with, the New Age Outlaws were sticking around.

It just goes to show is if you are pals with the COO, you don’t have to do much to be eligible for a title shot.

Please let this be a transitional move.

Ever since the Rhodes Brothers have had the belts, the tag team matches have been very exciting to look at.  Cody and Goldust have good chemistry, and they interact well with the other tag teams during the matches.  The Usos have definitely stepped their game up, so I am hoping the Rhodes Brothers losing the titles set them up to be next. 

I know the brother vs. brother story line was inevitable, but did they have to drop them to the Outlaws?  Road Dogg has never impressed me with his wrestling moves, and Billy Gunn-let’s just say his Famouser is no longer famous.

Now let’s get to the Royal Rumble PPV itself.

Yes! Yes! Yes!



It is wonderful to see a good quality match: one that keeps the crowd interested and tests the endurance of each wrestler. The Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt match did just that. It really did seem like Daniel Bryan was going to win one, but I guess Bray needed it more: to really show he could get the job done without any interference from Rowan and Harper.

The Divas have been replaced by The Big Show as a bathroom break
(aka “Chairachy”, aka “Filler Garbage”)

Source: YouTube

Source: YouTube

It never fails.  Each time The Big Show looks impressive on Raw (see above picture) or Smackdown, he gets made to look like a bitch on PPV.  I’m sorry; there’s just no polite way to say this.  We got him getting chair whipped before the match even started by an even bigger bitch: Brock Lesnar.

I know you’re thinking: “Unleashed, it sounds like you really don’t care about Brock Lesnar”.

And you would be right.  I didn’t like him when he first came to the WWE.  He lacked skill as a wrestler; he doesn’t have a lot of charisma (it’s good Paul Heyman speaks for him).  His only purpose is to “collect a check”.  When Brock Lesnar isn’t the spotlight or when he is shown as not being viable (no matter whether it is WWE or UFC), he goes and quits.  Did WWE corporate really think the fans wanted Brock Lesnar back?  He rarely even gets a pop.  The only reason why some fans would cheer the chair beat down is because they really don’t like The Big Show.  It has nothing to do with liking him. (Don’t get me started on that ugly ass sword on this chest that looks more like a prick with a blade attached to it; that’s a different blog altogether)

Let’s not waste any more time on this garbage.

The Season of Awkwardness: John Cena vs. Randy Orton for The Unified Championship (aka WWE World Heavyweight Championship)



The Authority has provnd that the WWE polls don’t matter.  Even though the WWE Universe voted to call the unification of the titles “The Unified Championship”, they are still calling it the “WWE World Heavyweight Championship”.  Plus, there’s no updated belt.  It makes me feel like they are unsure about whether they are truly going to separate the brands or not.

This also shows that Randy Orton and John Cena aren’t very creative when it comes to putting on a match with each other.  Randy Orton was constantly pausing (sometimes, posing); I think it was because he was trying to figure out what to do, and the various chants of the crowds was annoying.

I found the crowd’s chants to be very entertaining and quite telling:

“Daniel Bryan” was chanted throughout the match. (The Uncrowned Champion)

“Y2J” (He’s actually the 1st Undisputed Champion)

“Boring” (That was an understatement)

And the biggest testament to the lack of interest in this title match was this chant:

“We want Divas”

Even AJ Lee is speechless.

You also know a match is bad when they start doing the other opponent’s finishing moves.  Randy was doing John’s moves, but made them look better.  John was doing Randy’s RKO, which he should NEVER ever do it again—in life.  It just looked sloppy.

The crowd was ready for the match to be over with.  Heck, I was ready for the match to be over with; I usually don’t feel like that about the championship matches, but this one was BAD.  I can honestly say it was worse than TLC.

WWE ended this travesty by having the Wyatt family show up, setting up a weak storyline for the Wyatts to beef with Cena.  A wack ending to a disappointment of a match.

Okay, let’s go to the Royal Rumble itself.  We had a few surprise entrants (and some not so surprising):


1.  Alexander Rusev from NXT (it was great to see him in it)

2.  Kane (not surprising)-my only thing is if he’s “corporate now” and preaching how “management can’t put their hands on employees”, how could he just put himself in the Rumble?  The Authority was strangely quiet on that one; perhaps they will speak more on Raw.  If that’s the case, there would be nothing stopping Brad Maddox for getting in the ring, too. (just saying)

3.  Kevin Nash (came for the money)

4.  Sheamus (not surprising)-It had been hinted there was a possibility he would be ready by the Rumble.


5. El Torito-Yes, you read right.  There was a bull in the rumble.  It’s comedic and all, but they couldn’t find another wrestler to put in instead of the bull?  (And the bull lasted longer than JBL!)

6. JBL—no, not “Bradshaw” (and I loved his dark haired, tough ass, especially when he was teamed with Ron Simmons), but watered down “Bradshaw”: JBL



“That’s probably how she felt about CM Punk’s performance at The Royal Rumble.”  (Um, they are actually dating; guess CM Punk really does dig crazy chics-rofl)

The thing that kept me excited about the Rumble was the endurance of CM Punk and the performance of Roman Reigns. (Source) (Source)

He just continues to be impressive.  Now, he holds the record for the most eliminations in a Royal Rumble match.  He’s a big guy but he’s quick and possesses a lot of endurance; he has the tools to go very far.



I know you’re thinking: “Unleashed, what about Batista?”

I don’t dislike Batista.  I dislike him wearing those very tight skinny jeans though.  I am just having a problem with nostalgia overruling fresh talent.  Here’s what I mean.

Did I love D-Generation X?  Yes, I did, and still do.  Do I like seeing the gang come together every once in a while?  Yes, I do.  Do I want them to hold gold when that could go to superstars that will be the future of WWE when they are long gone?  No.  I don’t think it is fair.

That is what I am getting at.  WWE Corporate doesn’t have enough faith in their current roster to generate big sales, so they keep bringing back those from the past.  Even worse, wrestlers from the Attitude Era whose personas just don’t feel authentic for the PG era.

Look at Daniel Bryan.  He gets a wonderful pop during his matches.  He’s high energy during his matches.  He’s a great athlete.  He can actually wrestle.  CM Punk can actually wrestle.  The Shield, especially Roman Reigns, are great talents.

But you have people like Brock Lesnar who stroll in and declare themselves #1 contender for something when he doesn’t give a hot damn about the industry.  You have Batista who didn’t even deliver his signature move on anyone, just that weak ass spear.  Roman Reigns did all the heavy work, only to get eliminated by Batista.

I know Batista was brought back to get more sales for Wrestlemania, but to those other talents, it’s just not fair. 

Overall, I give The Royal Rumble 2014 3 out of 5 Stars.  They would have probably only gotten a 1.5 if it hadn’t been for Bryan, Punk, the Wyatt family, and the Shield.


This is a W.A.R. (Weak Ass Rumble) going into Wrestlemania.  WWE has a lot of work to do to get me excited about Wrestlemania 30, other than it being in New Orleans.

Thanks for checking out The Review Board.  Feel free to like, share, and subscribe.  Have a wonderful day!


About nolabels

I have an appreciation for the unique, love for all types of art, and fierce attractions to brilliant intellectuals (from book smarts to street smarts). Lover of humanity but feel humans have lost their way, just trying to stay true to myself as conformity threatens to take me away. Simply one head, many crowns: Author. Reviewer. Columnist.

5 comments on “Unleashed Speaks on WWE The Royal Rumble

  1. C. A. Sanders
    January 28, 2014

    I couldn’t have said it better. You know a PPV is bad when Mick Foley publically criticizes it.

    The Show/Brock match should’ve never happened. Instead, they should’ve had a Divas match (there’s a lot of talent there right now) and put Show and Brock in the Rumble instead of Kali and The Miz (who is better on the mic than in the ring).

    The end of the Rumble was a Creative botch. Once Punk was gone, everyone knew that Batista would win. I hate when a wrestler comes back and right away gets a title shot. If they were going to do that, they shouldn’t have introduced him the week before. They should’ve had him show up as a surprise, win the Rumble, and get the heat from the surprise.

    The WWE has a problem with Daniel Bryan. They use him in the opening bout to pump up the crowd, but he makes every other match look bad by comparison. They should’ve put him and Bray right before the Rumble. A well-booked lineup would’ve been:

    Outlaws/ Rhodes

    I’d like to think that burying Bryan is part of an extended work to keep the Yes Movement hot, but damn, they’re really making us work for it.

    At least Kofi got to play “The floor is hot lava,” and it was nice to see Nash again.

    • nolabels
      January 28, 2014

      Craig, I definitely agree with you in regards to Show/Brock. That was definitely a waste. Each time Khali gets put in the Rumble, I’m doing a Miz, “Really? Really? Really?”

      No matter how much the higher ups at WWE say they don’t have a problem with Bryan, their actions speak volumes. WWE put CM Punk through a lot, too. I was so upset they had Punk hold the belt for 434 days, just for him to drop it to The Rock, who I knew wasn’t going to be around to stay anyway.

      WWE is in touch with dollar signs, but out of touch with what the fans truly want.

      Thanks for stopping by. Don’t be a stranger.

  2. Armand
    January 28, 2014

    Let it be a lesson.. Don’t hand your company over to your bimbo daughter and her oaf husband.. I miss shane, I think he would appreciate DB, Shane wrestled with the same energy and effort that DB does. These 2 drones have no idea what real wresting and effort is, they never had to earn a damn thing.

  3. Pingback: Unleashed Speaks on WWE Elimination Chamber 2014 | The Review Board

  4. Pingback: Unleashed Speaks on Wrestlemania 30 | The Review Board

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This entry was posted on January 28, 2014 by in January, reviews, tv show and tagged , .

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