The Review Board

Where Honesty Never Ends.

Unleashed Speaks on Snap by Aisha Washington

snap

Snap by Aisha Washington

Smashwords | iTunes |Amazon

Amazon Author Page

Synopsis: Tamika Patterson thinks she’s met the man of her dreams. But everything can change in an instant. And soon Tamika finds herself questioning everything she knows about her life.

Disclaimer: I did try not to give too much of the action away.  However, I may slip up when trying to describe certain characteristics of the tale.

One of the parameters I use to decide whether I want to read a book or not is if the synopsis intrigues me; whether it says enough for me to grab it.  With Snap, I wanted to know, “What was the snap?”

Even with the title Snap, one has an expectation of a story with a jaw dropping or unexpected ending as well as a quick pace.  I wanted to see if this short story could deliver.

I. Pace

When it comes to the pace, it was a bit sluggish at first but began to pick up some speed going into Chapter Three when the takeover took place–basically, painted down as the watering down of fashion; from hip and stylish to overly manufactured.  I guess one can deem McFashions the McDonald’s of the fashion world–at least in the eyes of the two central characters Tamika and Rasheed.

jawdrop1

II.  Jaw Dropping moments

Unfortunately there was only one moment that caught me off guard–the takeover.  However, it was the set up for what occurred with the rest of the story.

unpredictable_3

III.  Unpredictability factor

The unpredictability factor in Snap was ZERO.  There were so many indicators that pointed to how the story was going to end:

A.  How star struck Rasheed was when he got a chance to meet Lavonda, the new boss.  Also the snide comment he made in regard to Lavonda’s talents, “I’ll bet that’s not all you’re good at.”

B.  His little to no objection to working with Lavonda a bit more closely once Lavonda decided to make changes to the schedule.  Any man still invested in his romantic relationship would put up a bit more protest.

alkie

C.  The increase in fighting between Tamika and Rasheed as well as the alcohol consumption.  Although alcohol can serve to dull the pain; it can also amplify issues once the “feel good” effects wear off.

Although the premise of the story was a draw in, there were many opportunities for improvement in addition to those mentioned:

proofreading

IV. Proofreading is Fundamental

I know some writers are excited about getting their work published, but it is better to take your time and fully proofread the work before submitting it for publication.  If you don’t have time to do it yourself, put a few more eyes on  your work before sending it out.  In fact, it’s best to have some more eyes on it, for they may catch what you miss. There were spelling and formatting errors sprinkled throughout this story, which would have been caught if the author would have taken the time to double check.

V.  More visuals

I like being able to visualize my surroundings and the characters.  I have so many questions in this story, such as:

(1) What does the boutique look like?

(2) What does Tamika, Rasheed, and Lavonda look like?

(3) What physical features attracted Rasheed to Lavonda?

(4) What changes did Lavonda make to the boutique that were so devastating? 

(5) What was the visuals and atmosphere like at the Fashion Show?  How was the backstage pass more epic than just being a regular guest?

Unless I’m part of the fashion world, you have to treat me like a two year old.

VII.  More dynamic dialogue

Although there were some very comedic barb between Tamika and Rasheed, the denouement was very flat.

If someone had told me what Rasheed had revealed to Tamika, I don’t know if I could have stayed as calm as she portrayed initially.   It would be different if Tamika’s personality was similar to Sheila (Jill Scott’s character) in Why Did I Get Married.

why-did-i-get-married-jill-scott

Sheila is pretty silent and soft spoken and tries to keep the peace until her husband reveals his news–I could understand how she stayed silent until she couldn’t anymore and just snapped.

However, Tamika’s portrayal suggests she’s the type of person who speaks up once she feels like she is disrespected or something happens that she doesn’t agree with.  She spoke up immediately when she picked up that Rasheed was attracted to Lavonda.  She was very outspoken with the news about the takeover.  She made great strides in sarcasm to try and make Lavonda’s task very difficult.  Yet she is as silently fuming before letting loose on Rasheed.  The character shift doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.

Plus, I would have exclaimed “Oh, snap!” after rather than before the blunt force trauma to the other person.  (that just seems to flow a bit better in my opinion)

Although there was great effort, Snap does not resemble dynamite but a small firecracker needing additional spark.

Thanks for checking out The Review Board.  I’m very appreciative of all the likes, shares, and subscribes.  Be on the lookout for July’s Author Spotlight as well as more reviews from myself and my co-board member, Mr. Controversy–Andrew Boyd.

Peace!

Advertisements

About nolabels

I have an appreciation for the unique, love for all types of art, and fierce attractions to brilliant intellectuals (from book smarts to street smarts). Lover of humanity but feel humans have lost their way, just trying to stay true to myself as conformity threatens to take me away. Simply one head, many crowns: Author. Reviewer. Columnist.

One comment on “Unleashed Speaks on Snap by Aisha Washington

  1. Pingback: The Review Board on Snap | No Labels…Unleashed

Unleashed Commentary

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on June 27, 2013 by in e-books and tagged , , , , , , .

Screening Dates

June 2013
S M T W T F S
« May   Jul »
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,171 other followers

Now on Google +

The Indie View

A terrific resource for Indie Authors

%d bloggers like this: